Miracles

What's happened that's a big deal?

1. Started Alpha class, doubtfully, with my wife. Things I thought about there:

• At age 13, wanted to be a rabbi (teacher). Taught Hebrew school.
• On way to church one week, I was afraid that I was supposed to be teaching at the church.
• In Alpha class two weeks later, the pastor said "I'm so excited you're here.". I asked why. She said "There's so much we can learn from you...so much you can teach us". She then apologized for being assumptive and I said "Don't worry about it...already got that message."

2. Started wearing necklace the same day that my wife did after 2 years of her not wearing hers and after pastors looking for necklace for me. Then went to Anaheim, CA for a business conference with wife and attended a service where the guy said "This book's full of great stuff." Explained how Proverbs have life applications and a daily meditation, and explained how the book of Matthew was written to the Jews. Went back to DE the next day. That next sunday, in church, asked God what to do. He said, "Take Jesus into your heart". That night, I read Matthew. I then thought:

• If my wife can love me enough to want to spend eternity with me, then maybe, just maybe
• Jesus died on the cross for the sins of my ancestors and all to come.

I took this very seriously, since being Jewish he was born to a Jew, and all the apostles were Jewish (I had no idea). Then I said a prayer with my wife taking Jesus into my heart.

3. One day, I was doubtful of where God wanted me to start. I was driving into Middletown and I passed a Mr. Mulch sign that said "Start Here".

4. Ended up with a rental truck. It was raining, and I was listening to this song entitled "The Only One". It essentially talked about how God controls everything...wind, rain, all of it. Drove the truck to work one day, and I parked it. Turned the key and took it out, and:

• the dome light stayed on
• the radio was still playing.

When the song was over, I got out of the truck and turned the radio off; the dome shutoff when I closed the door (it hadn't been opened). The rain stopped the second I stepped out. When I went home that day, I turned the radio on and the same song was on.

My Story, continued

So as I mentioned, I was born Jewish. What happened?

I haven't attended shul in well over two years. I remember that when I was a kid, and went to Hebrew school, I felt connected to God. So what's changed?

One of the things that bothered me about going to synagogue was that I never felt like I was enough in God's eyes. That's in my mind...I know. But not keeping kosher, not keeping Passover, not lighting all the candles at Chanukah, or whatever else I didn't do is what kept sticking out like a sore thumb whenever I went back to shul. So I didn't go.

I don't know. The experiences I've had that left me with questions were...

• divorce
• loss of parents -- Dad around 6 years ago, and Mom 2 years (this month)
• job loss

Do I think God was at the cause of it all? Of course not. What did happen was I was seeking...and I was looking everywhere. Kind of like looking for the keys that I knew I had...just couldn't remember where I put them.

Been remarried for almost three years now. I have two stepkids (oy!). My wife's stepmother came over during the summer, and said to my wife, "You've got to go check out this church in Middletown, DE!" waving her arms. You've got to understand...this isn't the type of woman that a) goes to church or b) waves her arms when she talks. So we went.

My wife wanted to check it out and thought that having the kids go would be a good thing. So, being the husband, I went...with my arms crossed, with a frown, and with my wife and kids. I had to admit -- there was something different here. They sang, in English. I heard the name Jesus, but not too much. Nothing hanging on the walls. Matter of fact, this church is in a warehouse.

We went for a time, and I started to like the music. Keep in mind, at this point, I still hadn't been going to synagogue. I would sing, but wouldn't mention Jesus. I'd pray, but in Hebrew...waiting for the lightning to strike. It didn't.

I felt sacreligious, and didn't know what to think. I've been a praying person, for about the last 17 years or so, so I asked God what to do. I kept going back...and I kept praying. I felt:

• confronted
• confused
• hypocritical
• sacreligious
• scared
• lost

But I kept going. Why? What I did feel -- more than anything else -- was connected. How can you feel sacreligious without being religious in the first place? I don't know. What I do know is that something was tugging me in this direction...and it wasn't human.

So I kept going. Once when I was praying (still at home at the time) a thought I had was, "Where's God in all this? Where's my answers?" That's as close as I got to a prayer...I guess something's better than nothing.

One fine Sunday night, I was talking to my wife. By this time, we had been going regularly. My wife works from home, so she was able to do things for the church during the week. Something was bugging her...I knew it. So I asked her. Of course, the answer I got was, "Nothing".

So I jumped in and asked, "Does it bother you that you're Christian, and I'm Jewish"? She said yes. You've got to understand that my wife and I never, and I mean never brought up the topic of religion, yet we're going on our third year of marriage. Even with two kids.

I said, "Why does it bother you"? She replied, "Because I love you so much, that I want to spend eternity with you". Now how was I going to reply to this one? Here she was, and she knew where she was going spiritually, and I was still seeking. Something opened up in my heart. So I told her:

If I'm even considering the conversation for God
right now, I want to learn more about my own religion first.

Since we were already attending church regularly, I started reading one of my wife's old Bibles. I started reading the Old Testament. When I started reading, something became very clear to me:

1. I never heard about half the stuff (at least not in English anyways) that I was reading.
2. I remembered that the Torah readings were the first five books of the Bible.
3. Synagogues don't typically teach from the Tanakh (the Old Testament, plus the 12 major and 12 minor prophets, Psalms, Proverbs, etc...basically everything up to the New Testament).

So I thought that if I wanted to learn this stuff, no better place to start than by reading. By this time, at the men's Bible study I was part of, I felt self-righteous being Jewish. I'll show them, I thought...(what? I have no idea). I just knew that locked somewhere in that book was the answers I was looking for.

Bringing things up-to-date

First of all, Happy New Year!

Want to fill in the gaps here.

The reasons for my blog are twofold:

1. To bring to light the things that I sure can't explain (and I'm good at explaining) concerning my faith, and
2. To keep track of the modern-day miracles (I don't believe in coincidence) lest I forget what they provide in my life.

In the beginning...

So what's this all about? Well, in the past 3 months, I’ve had some weird stuff happen that I think I should tell others about.

Well, I guess I'll just put it out there in the road. I was born Jewish, and, well, I just thought there was something missing.

• I was Bar Mitzvah'd.
• I taught Hebrew School.
• I was Youth Group President for 2 years at shul.
• I was a member of BBYO for 2 years.
  

Don't get me wrong. Some of my best friends are Jewish. Matter of fact, both my sisters, both my parents, my aunts, uncles...let's just say like they did in the OT (Old Testament), I come from a long line of begat's and begotten Jewish folk.

When I felt at most connected to God was when I was in His house, reading His word (basically, talkin' to Him). What bothered me most about it, though, was I didn't understand what I was saying. I always felt a deep sense of connectedness about it though. I felt as though I "should feel him here since I'm in His house".

But as I grew up, I felt a sense of confusion about it all. I'd go to synagogue, hear the rabbi read from the Torah, and he'd explain a passage. I'd follow the holidays.

That's it. That's what it meant to be Jewish for me growing up. I'd celebrate the holidays, eat the food (Oy! did I eat the food), and say the prayers and hope that I didn't get struck by lightning or that Elijah wouldn't run me down on the highway for breaking Passover 2 days early with that accidental cheeseburger.